A Jedi Shop In Hogsmead
by Dumbledalf
Summary: Two Jedi are sent to the magical town of Hogsmead, on account of Yoda getting drunk on a Non-Alcoholic Pina Colada... Aha! Intriguing!
1. An Arrival

A Jedi Shop in Hogsmead

I dedicate this story to Akwyn and Allandra, for playing; to Kyle, who let us use his legos; to the cats Carmel, Riggy, and Sadie, who are awesome; and to lemonade, because it's awesome too!!!

I

Three Jedis stood outside the Council Meeting Room, waiting to be summoned in. A tall woman with tidy brown hair looked at her watch. "Master Yoda is never running this late," she said to her Padawan, the girl with extremely frizzy, out-of-control hair.

"Yes Master," said the girl.

"I wonder what's going on in there," continued the Jedi Master Silivia.

"Yes Master."

"Kailan!" said the Jedi sharply. "Are you even listening to me?"

"Yes Master…. I'm supposed to say 'Yes Master,' remember?"

"Well, you don't have to say it in every sentence!"

"Yes, Mas… Yes," corrected Kailan. She tried to smooth out her wild hair, to look more presentable to Master Yoda.

The other Jedi standing next to her sighed. "Back in my day, we used hair gel," he said.

"But we still have hair gel, Master Ickety-Click," Kailan reminded the old, but not that old, Jedi.

"I'm sure you're mistaken," Ickety-Click said. "Listen! You can kind of hear what's going on in there!"

The three Jedis put their ears to the Council Door. Very faintly, they could hear Yoda's voice….

"SCOTLAND FOREVER!!!"

II

When Yoda called the three Jedis to the Council, he was still completely sober. Usually, in the morning, he would only drink a glass of purified water. But, the day before, the Jedi Chefs had added a new item to the menu: the Non-Alcoholic Pina Colada.

Yoda was intrigued. "What's this?" he asked the waiter who came to take his order. "A Non-Alcoholic Pina Colada, I shall have."

So as he sat in his comfy chair, waiting for the Jedis to arrive, he sipped his exotic, new drink. And as he sipped, his brain was getting a little muddled… and a little more muddled… until Mace Windu noticed something odd.

The "something odd" he noticed was the slight fact that Yoda was jumping up and down on his seat cushion, screaming, "SCOTLAND FOREVER! SCOTLAND FOREVER!!!"

"Yoda?" he asked. "Are you okay?"

"Okay? OKAY? Never been better, my dear!!!"

"You just seem kind of… bouncy, you know. I wonder what they put in that drink of yours."

He went out and opened the door, hoping to find a waiter passing by that he could ask. There was no waiter, but there was the Jedis that had been summoned.

"Um, Yoda's not doing too well," Mace said. "If you would wait here, I'll run down to the kitchen and see what happened."

"Yes, Master Windu," said Silivia.

But a moment later, Yoda came out into the hall. "Oh, you're here," he said calmly. "You may as well come in."

Master Silivia thought of the order Mace had given them, and said, "We should wait until Master Windu gets back."

"HA!" cried Yoda. "I am the all-powerful Yoda! You will do as I command!"

"Um, yes, Master Yoda," said Silivia. She motioned the two other Jedis to follow her in.

Yoda sat down on his comfy seat, and looked around for the seat-belt. When he finally looked up, he caught sight of the Jedis standing there.

"Ah, Master Kailan, Padawan Silivia, how nice of you to join me." He spoke as if he had just seen them.

"It's the other way around, Master Yoda," said Silivia respectfully.

"And you've forgotten me. I'm Master Ickety-Click."

"And where's your Padawan, Master Clicky-Click?"

"I, ah, haven't got one."

"WHY NOT? ALL JEDI SHOULD HAVE ONE!!! EVEN THE WEE YOUNGLING SHOULD HAVE ITS OWN PADAWAN!"

"Um, yes, Master Yoda." Master Ickety-Click hastily changed the subject, before things got even more uncomfortable. "You called us here for a mission, I believe?"

"Hhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmm, yessssssss, I believe I diiiiiiiid. Master Icky-Click, your mission is to create a cherry pie five feet long and six feet wide."

"Yes, Master." Ickety-Click bowed, and let the room. On the way out, he bumped into Mace Windu, coming back from the kitchen.

While he was down there, he had discovered that the Jedi Chefs had run out of Non-Alcoholic Alcohol and so had to put Alcoholic Alcohol into the Pina Colada.

"So he's completely drunk!" Mace said to himself. "Last time he got drunk, it took him three months and a half for it to wear off! This is not good."

He decided he must lock Yoda up, before he did anything else. But, by the time he burst into the Council Room, it was too late.

"What about our mission?" Master Silivia asked.

"Yours? Oh, you will sell Jedi stuff to the planet of Hogsmead."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Mace Windu as he ran in, tripping over his robes.

"And that is final!"

III

Master Silivia and Padawan Kailan sat in the cockpit of a small ship, trying to navigate through the dark surface of the planet.

"I can't believe Master Yoda could get drunk!" said Kailan. "It just doesn't seem like the thing he would do."

"He's been drunk before," commented Silivia.

"Really? When?"

"Sixteen years ago, on New Year's Eve. Someone accidentally gave him Champagne instead of Sparkling Cider."

Kailan giggled. "I've never seen him so bouncy!"

"You should see him in Episode II!" said Silivia. "He boings all over the place. Of course… Episode II doesn't exist yet. Neither does Episode I, for that matter…." She stopped, seeing the confused look on her Padawan's face. "I guess you haven't studied Earth movies of the future yet."

"No Master."

"Oh, look! Here's a good spot to land!"

There was a small clearing in the middle of the dark forest. Silivia slowly stopped the ship, and let it rest on the muddy ground.

The Jedis got out, and took with them all of the supplies they would need to start a shop and to live for three and a half months. "We'd better bring it all. We don't know when we'll be able to come back to the ship," said Silivia.

They started off through the forest, trying to get through without a path. "Sheesh, Master," commented Kailan. "How do the habitants of Hogsmead get around in here? I hope the whole planet's not like this!"

"I don't think so," said Silivia. "But we don't really know. There hasn't been a very extensive search conducted here."

"Oh."

It was morning when the forest stopped, and led the Jedis straight into a small town. "Finally, a settlement!"

There was a native standing there, watching them. He was a humanoid male with very little hair, and was wearing a tall pointy hat.

"Greetings," said Silivia, and bowed. Kailan followed suit.

"Uh, hi," said the old man. "Did you just come out of the Forbidden Forest?"

"I did not know it was forbidden," Silivia said, loudly and clearly, so the man would understand her.

"Ha! Where're you from, then? Ha, ha! No knowin' it was forbidden…." This seemed to amuse him greatly.

"We're from Coruscant," Kailan offered. Silivia nodded.

"Coruscant, eh? What kind of joke is this?" The man hobbled away into the nearest building. The Leaky Cauldron, the sign said.

"Well, at least we know they're humans, Master," Kailan said.

"Yes, Padawan. May that be a lesson to you."

"Why me? Why can't it be a lesson to you, too?"

"Well, I don't know. I guess because I'm supposed to be teaching you stuff. Have you learned anything yet?"

For lack of anything better to say, Kailan just agreed, "Um…. Yes Master."


	2. More Arrivals

IIII _uh… _IV

Jedi Master Silivia and her Padawan Kailan began looking for a place to have their shop. They went up and down the streets, until they saw a sign that said, "For Rent."

It was an old, run down building, in between a junk shop and a little café. "This'll do," said Silivia. "We won't be here all that long. You go explore the town while I try to rent this place."

"Yes Master," said Kailan happily. She wandered off down the sidewalk, until she came to the busy side of the town. There were many shops, such as Honeydukes and Zonkos, where lots of natives were crowding around. There was a demonstration going on in the middle of the road, and Kailan was curious to see what it was.

There were two men, wearing robes that stated, "Zonkos." The first man put a small explosive on the ground, saying, "Get back!" The other man took a long, thin stick from his pocket and began to repeat words from a strange language. The little explosive began to fly up, when directed by the man's stick.

"Oh!" thought Kailan. "He's using the force!" As the miniature fireworks display erupted in the air, she turned her back and ran down to the street, intent on telling her Master this new discovery.

V

When Kailan arrived back at the little shop, Silivia was already setting things up. "We have this place for four months," she told her Padawan. "By that time, we'll surely be finished."

Kailan opened one of the heat-conducting vinyl packages and pulled out three lightsabers, made in the Jedi Workshop, as ordered by Yoda. She set them on a little plastic stand on a display table.

"Master, don't you think it would be dangerous to give lightsabers to the natives?"

"Yes, Kailan, I've already thought of that. We'll say that they are 'for display only.' The other stuff we have can't harm them."

The "other stuff" included random machinery from the spare parts, and a shiny stone that was strong in the Force. Kailan was pretty skeptical about the stone: It looked like someone had taken a rock and painted it in glow-in-the-dark paint. Either that, or it was radioactive. She tried to stay away from it.

When everything was out, Silivia sat behind the counter. "You can go back out now," she said. "Go meet the neighbors, study the natives. We'll have to file a report when we get back you know!"

It wasn't until she left that Kailan realized she hadn't told Silivia about the natives using the Force.

VI

Back outside, Kailan went into the shop right next door. Inside it was bright and cheery, despite the dusty appearance of the whole street. In the corner was a breakfast bar. The rest of the shop was bookshelves with old, musty books, and strangely, brooms.

There was a girl behind the counter, a little older than Kailan. "May I help you?" she asked when the bell rang, announcing Kailan's arrival.

"Um, no, thank you." Kailan said. "Just, ah, browsing. What's your name?"

"Oh, you're new around here?" the girl asked. She had short, reddish hair and was wearing a shirt with a strange word: Quidditch. "I'm Killi—short for Killantra."

"That's a pretty name," commented Kailan. "What's Quidditch?"

"You don't know what Quidditch is?" Killi asked in amazement. "YOU DON'T KNOW?"

"Um, no," said Kailan shyly.

"Where are you from? That's the best sport in the world! I'm a chaser. The best in the neighborhood team!"

"I'm from Coruscant. We don't have Quidditch there."

"Where's that? Sounds Italian."

"Yes, it's in Italia," Kailan frantically said. She turned from Killi's confused face to the person who just came in with a ding.

"Hi!" said the girl. She looked a little younger than Killi but a little older than Kailan, in case you're wondering about specifics. She wore her black hair in a ponytail, and had a kind of evil expression on her face. "Hey, Kiwi."

"That would be _Killi_," said Killantra in annoyance. "Why do you always call me that, Nicole?"

"Because it's your name," replied this new person, Nicole. "Who are you?"

"I'm Kailan, from Italia," Kailan said. She turned around yet again as the door opened, yet again.

It was Silivia, probably looking for her. "What time do you have?" she demanded.

"1600, Master."

Both Killi and Nicole looked shocked. "Are you a—slave?" Nicole asked.

"No, NO! Of course not!" Kailan laughed. "I'm a Padawan!"

"Must be some Italian custom."

_Ding_, the door opened AGAIN, and another girl walked in. I won't go into the nonsense about who was older than who, but say simply that she was fourteen years old. She had long brown hair, with little braids entwined in. She was wearing a rough blue shirt and a rough gray dress over it, with a semi-precious jewel at the belt. _Can you guess who it is?_

"Padme!" cried Silivia. "What are you doing here?"

"Standing," she said.

"Who's Padme?" Kailan asked.

"I AM!"

"You wouldn't know her. You haven't studied Earth movies of the future yet," explained Silivia.

"I'm here because I lost my steering wheel." If this was a strange comment a long time ago, it would definitely be a strange comment today. I mean, how in the world do you lose a _steering wheel?_ "Oh, and I saw some weird little men outside. Mith ithil forodenna. Galad nen, tri dun vanwa."

"Are you feeling all right?" Nicole asked.

"Le faroth. Forod nen? Nim alqua?" Padme gestured frantically towards the window.

"This is very odd. Her brain must have been bilingually misfunction-malfunctioned when she came," Silivia said. Kailan stared at her vacantly, not understanding.

"Let that be a lesson to you, Padawan."

"Yes, Master."

VII

Just outside the window, there were three strange beings walking down the street. They were the same ones Padme was pointing to, but no one looked. They all thought she was stark raving mad.

They were worms. Green worms, with long white beards. Did I say they were walking? They were actually hopping on their little green tails. They were about the height of a person standing up, and were bickering like a married couple. (Technically, since there were three of them, they were bickering like a married couple plus half a married couple.)

"I'm the slimiest," said the one with the longest, whitest beard. His name was Namal.

"No, I am," said the worm wearing a wrist band on his head. He was Nemal.

"Actually, I am," said the tallest one, Numal. He was, somehow, carrying a little black steering wheel.

Just behind them was a motor-bike that had three wheels, making it a motor-tricycle. And it was missing a steering wheel. And the license plate said, "Padme Rulz."

Behind the motor-bike was a ship, that was shaped like giant mole. Its license plate said, "Nemotoads Rule."

AHA!!!


	3. Another Arrival

VIII

The two Jedi ate dinner at the breakfast bar, and then went back to their own shop. There was a little room at the top of the store, where Kailan and Silivia would sleep, in sleeping bags.

The Nemotoads went back to their ship, Killi went to her upstairs room, Nicole went home, and Padme…. Well, I don't know where she went. But it doesn't matter, does it?!! So stop bugging me about it!!!

Just when it seemed like everyone on the whole "planet" of Hogsmeade was asleep, excluding the mice, there was a loud sound from the woods. It was the exact same BOOOOM and THUMP and WHOOOSH that had come from the forest the day before… the sound of a ship landing.

A man stumbled out of the woods by the time it was light. The very same old man was there to ask, "Did you just come out of the Forbidden Forest?"

Etc, etc, etc… Deja vou…. Okay. You get it. Now to continue the story!!!!

IX

At exactly 8:32 the next morning, there was a knock at the door to the Jedi Shop.

"Answer the door, my young Padawan!" yelled Silivia.

The visitor pounded on the door again. There was a series of thumps, groans, and crashes, and the door opened.

"Master Ickety-Click! Come in!" Kailan grabbed his hand and led him inside, plopping him down on an overstuffed couch.

Ickety-Click looked around. There was the cashier desk on the back wall, the lightsaber display, the radioactive rock…. "Not doing too bad! Although, back in my day, we always offered our guests something to drink."

"We still do that," Kailan said, confused. Silivia went to the back counter and pulled a 7-Up from a cooler, and tossed it to the Jedi.

"That's the spirit!" he cried, and then opened the can. The soda burst out and soaked his robes, but Ickety-Click paid no attention. "What was all that noise?"

"Oh, Kailan and I were practicing some lightsaber techniques," said Silivia.

"I kind of bumped into the table, and all the things fell off. Kind of," explained Kailan. "Master Ickety-Click, what are you doing here?"

Ickety-Click stood up and put his hand on his heart. "It's time for you to come home," he said solemnly.

"Oh! Already? I thought we would be here for at least three months!"

"Back in my day, Silivia, we always respected out elders."

"But we're the same age! You and I were Younglings together!"

"BACK IN MY DAY, WE HAD TO WALK FIFTEEN MILES TO YOUNGLING CLASS, IN THE SNOW!!!"

"But Youngling class is held in the Jedi Temple!!!"

"BACK IN MY DAY, WE DIDN'T GO GALAVANTING ABOUT, SPILLING SODAS ON OURSELVES!!!" Which was something Ickety-Click had just done, to himself.

"I'm sure you didn't," said Silivia, trying to calm down.

"I'm sure we DID!!!"

This rather odd argument was interrupted by a loud, movie-like shriek from outside.

X

The Jedis ran to the window. Outside, a Hogsmeade inhabitant was screaming her head off. The little girl had formerly been riding in her little Barbie Jeep, but was now trying to gain something back from three worm-like aliens.

Silivia ran to the door. "Nemotoads!" she yelled. "What are you doing?" She pulled put her purple lightsaber and turned it on.

"Ah, oh, ah, hi… Master Jedi," said the alien with the longest, whitest beard: Namal.

The tallest one, Numal, tried to hide something behind his back, but was unsuccessful. Silivia caught a glimpse of a bright pink wheel: a steering wheel. "Do you have authorization to be here?"

"I, ah, I wasn't aware we needed authorization to visit Hogsmeade," stammered Namal. "I'll… I'll remember that next time."

"There won't BE a next time. You are going out to your ship, right now, and I will report you to the Galactic Senate!"

"Yes, Master Jedi," Namal submitted, hanging his head. He and the others turned back towards the Forbidden Forest.

Silivia went back inside the shop. "Nemotoads," she commented. "So annoying, yet so easy to handle. Come on, we need to pack!"

XI

"Did she actually think we were leaving?" sniggered Namal as soon as they were out of earshot. "Those Jedi are so annoying… yet easy to handle."

"Heh heh," said Numal. He was holding the steering wheel now. "They'll never know what hit them! We'll steal all the steering wheels on the planet, and the Hogsmeadians won't be able to stop us!"

"Hoi, hoi," laughed Nemal. "Hey, I didn't know 'hoi' was a word! How come Word's not underlining it?"

The others stared at him.

"Um… hoi, hoi. This is sooper clever." Nemal messed with the wristband on his head, straightening it so that the little yellow dot was in the front. "What does this button do?"

There was a sudden BANG and a burst of fire, and suddenly there was no Nemal.

"Where'd he go?" asked Namal.

"Dunno." Numal stared at the ashes on the ground, marking the place the Nemotoad once stood.

"That was really wierd. I mean, weird. I know that 'cause it's underlined."

"Yeah. Spell Check is an awesome thing."

"Same with Coat Check."

XII

"It was Master Windu who sent me here," Ickety-Click was saying, as they packed. "He said that Yoda shouldn't be the only one to make decisions."

"Ah," Silivia said. "Good idea. Kailan, would you hand me that bag?"

"Did you know," Kailan anxiously inquired, as she passed the bag, "that in German, blau means both blue and slightly drunk?"

"No, I did not. Where'd you find that out?"

"Master Ickety-Click told me while you were outside. He is very languageful."

"Back in my day," Ickety-Click severely said, "we did not make up new words, like 'languageful' and 'outside'."

"Wow. I didn't know you could speak German!" exclaimed Silivia.

"I can't. Das ist Ihre Phantasie gerade, ich sind sicher. Zurück an meinem Tag, beschuldigten wir Leute nicht vom Sprechen einer Fremdsprache!"Ickety-Click replied. _1_

This rather odd conversation was interrupted by a loud RING A LING A LING A LING A LING!!!!!

"Oh, that's my cell phone," Kailan said, and ran to get it out of her purse. "Kailan here, talk to me!"

"Kailan!" Silivia said sharply. "How many times have I told you not to answer the phone like a teenager?"

"I'm deeply sorry, Master. Let me try again. Ah, hello?"

"Hello? Is this Padawan Kailan?"

"May I ask who this is?"

"Wait. Are you Padawan Kailan?"

"I don't give my name to strangers. Who is THIS?"

"But I want to know…. Fine. This is Mace Windu."

"Ooh, hi, uh, Master Windu. I, ah, didn't realize it was you!" Kailan turned red.

"Obviously not. Can I talk to your Master?"

"Yes. Hold on a minute." She tossed the cell phone over to Silivia. Or at least, she tried to. Master Ickety-Click went for an interception at the last minute, and grabbed it.

He then accidentally dropped it on the floor, causing it to break into 18 pieces.

What's the probability of that? Well, I'll tell you the probability of that. It was 1:2 that he tried to catch the phone, 1:3 that he actually caught it, and 1:4 that he dropped it. Thus, P(breaking cell phone)1:24.

"Wow. That was a one out of twenty-four chance that you would break my cell phone," Kailan said.

"Never tell me the odds!" Silivia yelled, causing plenty of stares. "Uh, Earth movies of the future."

DING DING A LING DING DING A LING!!!!!

"That's my cell phone!" Silivia said, and jumped to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Hello?"

"Hello?"

"Is this Mace Windu?"

"Yes. What happened to Kailan's phone?"

"Oh, it broke."

"Well. I have some important news!"

"Yes?"

"What?"

"You have some important news!"

"I do?"

"Yes! You do! Have you been trying a non-alcoholic pina colada?"

"Nein! Ich bin nicht blau! Ich bin unschuldig! Tadeln Sie mich nicht für das Trinken!" _2_

Silivia sighed. "I'll call you back later."

_hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!!!!!!!!!!!_

_1 _Translation: That's just your imagination, I'm sure. Back in my day, we didn't accuse people of speaking a foreign language!

_2 _Translation: No! I'm not slightly drunk! I'm innocent! Don't blame me for drinking!

PS

MistyRiver: I think Jedis are the only ones who make alcohol that way… Maybe you can mail-order some.

Juliarules: O-o to you too.

Akwyn: Hi, Akkie!!! Congrats!!! Yeah, it was Darby. Although, she wanted to name her Nikka.


	4. A Departure

Chapter 4: A Departure

XIII

The Jedis decided to leave the next day, giving them enough time to pack and get ready.

"We never did sell anything," Silivia commented. "Everyone was too scared to come in, I guess."

"Uh, Master?" Kailan asked. "Can I go see Killi?"

"Sure," Silivia said, and went back to what she was doing: a very fast-paced handclapping game with Ickety-Click.

Kailan went next door to her friend's shop. _Ding ding,_ went the bell, as usual.

"Oh, hi." Killi was sitting on the counter reading a paperback book. Kailan looked at the cover: The Lord of the Burger Kings: The Two Specials.

"It's about some elves, who were running into a Burger King," Killi said, "because of the Elf Special. But they don't get there in time."

"We're leaving tomorrow," Kailan said. "We have to go back to Coruscant."

"Oh." Killi's usually happy grin disappeared. "Well, we could always write."

"Well…." The thing was, they couldn't write. Coruscant doesn't have a mail service going to Hogsmeade.

"We could be pen pals!" Killi said excitedly. "We'll write to each other daily, saying exactly what ahs happened during our lives! We'll be like far-away sisters!"

_DING DING!_ The bell interrupted Killi's wild fantasies. A person rushed in—no, not just a person, Nicole! And she was being pursued by two worm-like creatures!

"Nemotoads! I thought you left!"

"Hoi, hoi!" Namal laughed. "Thought you could get rid of us so quickly? You think you can do these things, but you can't!"

"Where's the other one?" Killi asked innocently.

"He ah, blew up. But that's not important! What's important is that I'm holding this place up!"

"Whatever for?"

"STEERING WHEELS!"

Killi laughed. "We haven't go any of those."

"Then, ah, do you know of someone who has?"

"NOPE!" Killi said triumphantly.

"Well then… sorry to bother you." The worms turned to leave.

"Have a nice day!" Nicole cried. "Come again! On second thought, DON'T!"

XIIII

"Master, the Nemotoads didn't leave," Kailan said, after she got back to her own shop.

Silivia gasped—not out of surprise but because she was running out of breath. She was jump roping. "Well, we can't leave until they're gone!"

"Back in my day," said you know who, " we didn't make foolish resolutions—New Year's or otherwise!"

Master Ickety-Click was in a very dignified position, hanging by a bunch of wires from the ceiling. He claimed to taking out the lights, but you never can tell….

"You never can tell," said Ickety-Click. "Not even when you're wearing goggles or striped pants!"

"Well," concluded Silivia. "We'll have to figure out a way to get them out—for good!"

She decided that the best thing to do was to meditate. She sat cross-legged on top of a table, then tired of the cross-legged bit and switched to a more casual pose, laying on her stomach.

"AHA! You said the third one was blown up, right?"

"Um, no, actually," answered Kailan. "I never did say that. How'd you know?"

"Uh, the force is with me. Uh….. I read it a few paragraphs up."

"Sneaky," commented Ickety-Click, falling nobly to the floor with a _THUD._ "So ein Mist!" _3_

"Well, why don't we just blow the other two up?" Silivia exclaimed. "The perfect crime! No one will ever catch us!"

"We're Jedis," said Kailan. "We have a license to kill."

"Well, _I_ have a license to _chill_!" yelled Ickety-Click.

"Right. So we simply walk up to them, set off a bomb, and then walk away!" Silivia explained.

Of course, this would have been the ideal thing to do. But who wants to do the ideal thing? Where's the fun in that? Where's the dramatic climax?

"We could have a nice duel, with snappy dialogue! We say things like, 'You fight well, but not well enough!' and 'You are a worthy opponent!'" shouted Kailan.

"YAY!" Everyone, by this point, was jumping up and down and cheering. "Let's do it!"

IIIIIXX _well, by this time I'm kinda making these up- I should be on 15 by now_

Do do do do-do DO DO do—that's the sound of the exciting secret agent music that should be playing right now!

Silivia was sneaking stealthily towards the nemotoads' ship, with her blaster held up in two hands near her head—the way they always do it in spy films. Ickety-Click was army-crawling just behind her, and Kailan was making a large racket, accidentally stepping on all the twigs possible.

"SHHHH!"

The Nemotoads were sitting around a campfire, roasting marshmallows. They were also singing Kumbiyah and telling ghost stories, and knitting tents.

"IIIIEEEEE!" screamed Silivia as she raced into the clearing, even though "iiiieeeee" is not actually a word. It's underlined in red. She tossed two lightsabers to the Nemotoads, so that it would be a fair battle.

Unfortunately, neither one of the worms actually caught a lightsaber. Both of the metal tubes were now buried deep in the underbrush, where they would soon be discovered by rabbits.

Namal screamed. He and Numal both thought they were under attach, and ran into the ship.

The was a blast of fire, and a loud _WOOOSH_ING sound, and the ship disappeared into the night.

"So much for an exciting climax!" Silivia moaned. "That was dumb!"

"I bet you thought the Departure would be _our_ departure!" Ickety-Click said. "But you were wrong, weren't you!"

The others stared at him.

"Er, just talking to the audience, you know."

The Jedis headed back towards town and their shop. They would be leaving tomorrow.

He-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-dang-it

_3 _Translation: According to my German book, it means "dang it." According to that worksheet, it means "It's all a pile of manure." Ohio! According to the google translator, it means, "such a muck."

And I was serious about those rabbits. Seriously. There would be a whole generation of rabbits around Hogsmeade that were Force-sensitive and could build lightsabers. Watch out for them!

Akwyn: Okay, okay! Sheesh! I updated it! And I included the burger king thing… expect more about that, I tell ya!


	5. Another Departure

Chapter 5: Another Departure

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII _aka 16_

Three Jedis stood out in the streets of Hogsmeade, saying goodbye to one shop owner and one crazy queen.

"Goodbye! Write me!" cried Killi.

"I'll try," Kailan said.

"Du bist Blöd! Du bist ein Spinner!" Padme shouted random insults in German.

"Goodbye. Ickety-Click!"

"Goodbye, Silivia!" The two elder Jedi were only doing this because they had no one else to say goodbye to.

Suddenly, Nicole rushed up. "Sorry I'm late! But could you come to my place for a minute?"

They all trudged after her down the street, lugging heavy suitcases, bags, and folded-up trampolines.

In front of Nicole's shop was a big square thing, with lots of little stools and long tubes sticking out of the top.

"Tada! An oxygen bar!" She motioned to the stools, and everyone sat down and took deep breaths out of the tubes. It was all very relaxing.

The end.

"What? That's the end? Back in my day, we had a proper ending, like, 'Then they rode into the sunset' or 'Then they lived happily ever after.' What's all this RELAXING stuff?"

Fine then. They then got back into their ship and flew it into the sunset, careful not to hit the sun, and then lived happily ever after. The end.

"A little better."

How much do you want?

"You could say what happened next, for a start."

I don't think I need a lesson in finishing a story, thank you very much!

"Well, whatever you say. Your funeral."

FINE THEN! Bothersome.

>Ickety-Click became a very well-known Jedi for tracking a spy onto the very unexplored planet Germany, because he could speak the native tongue.

>Silivia was never very well-known, however she did become the first Jedi to win the Coruscant Olympics for the 50,000 ft sprint. So I guess she was pretty well-known after all.

>Kailan was a very avid explorer and traveled all over the universe, and visited Killi and Nicole several times, even thought she couldn't write them.

>Nicole got a new head. Seriously. Her new one doesn't look so evil, and is just a kind of plain smile. Thank Allandra for that!

>Killi… uh, I don't know what happened to her. Ask Akwyn.

>Padme managed to get herself back to her Earth Movie of the Future, and for some reason doesn't act very crazy in the movie. They probably had her take her medicine.

>Yoda never got drunk again… well actually, he did twice more. But not with these strange sort of consequences.

>Mace Windu…. HEY! ICKETY-CLICK! WAKE UP! Am I boring you? Well, I'll just have to finish then.

TTFN! TATA FOR NOW!

Dumbledalf


End file.
